(retox) Too old to go clubbing? Never! How to do 24 hours in Ibiza and come out smiling

NME just announced that we are officially ‘too old to go clubbing’ at 37.  

As a 40-year-old just back from dancing my head off at Carl Cox’s new night in Ibiza I have to disagree with these findings.

In fact, if done right, I don't think there needs to be any age limit on tearing up the dance floor.

A good clubbing session can connect people, relieve stress, release endorphins and burn calories. Those of us the other side of 30 just need to adapt our disco strategy a little, according to our staying power/husband's patience levels/hangover recovery time.

Pike's: The ultimate Ibiza party palace and the 'seasoned' clubbers choice

Pike's: The ultimate Ibiza party palace and the 'seasoned' clubbers choice

Morning after: NME say that we are too old to go clubbing at the age of 37. I say 'no way, Jose'

Morning after: NME say that we are too old to go clubbing at the age of 37. I say 'no way, Jose'

Keeping it short and glam and factoring in a substantial 'morning after' window is my preferred clubbing style these days, which is why 24 hours in Ibiza is my favourite way to get a dance floor fix.

Yes we’re all about the wellness at Detox|Retox, but we’re also about balance, and sometimes letting your hair down in style is just the tonic.

If you're one of the growing number of grown-up hedonists refusing to accept a future of endless boxsets (and happy to hop on a plane to scratch that superclub itch) here are some Do's for making the most of 24 hours on the White Isle... 

1. DO… CHECK OUT midweek flights

Every night is basically Friday night during summer in Ibiza, so if you’re not tied to a particular date there are some serious bargain flights to be found on sites like Skyscanner. We flew out with Norwegian Air (Tuesday evening) and back with Thomson (late Wednesday) for less than I spent on cabs getting around London last weekend.

Cheap seats: On route to Ibiza with Norwegian Air and glam gal pal Lucia

Cheap seats: On route to Ibiza with Norwegian Air and glam gal pal Lucia

2. DO... choose your venues wisely

Life's too short for bad clubs (of which there are a fair few in Ibiza). My favourite places for grown-ups include DC10, Hi, Heart, Pacha, Pike's and Destino (check Ibiza Spotlight for full listings as some nights are more suitable for 'seasoned' clubbers than others). A hotel in Ibiza Town or Playa d'en Bossa will be your best bet for most of these.

3. DO… book in advance

From club tickets to chi-chi beach beds, the best spots need to be booked in advance if you're headed to Ibiza in high season. Try Ibiza Spotlight or Ticketmaster for club tickets (don't forget your print outs!) and some of my favourite beach beds for the morning (afternoon) after include Amante (elegant, beautiful views), El Chiringuito (glam, good food), Nassau (fun people-watching) and Blue Marlin (super scene-y) if energy levels allow.

Recover: Design hotel Santos offers a bit of stylish R&R on the sometimes hectic Playa d'en Bossa

Recover: Design hotel Santos offers a bit of stylish R&R on the sometimes hectic Playa d'en Bossa

4. DO… sleep it off in the sun

It’s tempting to hide in the air con the morning after, but a dip in the sea and a dose of vitamin D is absolutely the best way to shift a hangover. If you were too late to book a beach bed, Santos in Playa d’en Bossa is a bit of a hidden gem (no charge for the beds, just a minimum drinks spend) and Jockey Club at Salinas Beach doesn't take reservations so nominate one of your crew to get there before 12pm and nab one of the best doubles.

5. DO… some prep

Treating yourself to some proper sleep and good food in advance of the trip will mean you are really able to make the most of your 24 hours and bounce back quicker.

And I'm always a fan of starting a holiday at the airport, especially a 24 hour jaunt. So ahead of the flight why not fuel your Ibizan adventures at The Gorgeous Kitchen in Heathrow (T2) or Grainstore at Gatwick (south terminal) with some avo on toast and a Bloody Mary.

Monday: Daytime dancing at DC10 (and definitely all considering changing our return flights)

Monday: Daytime dancing at DC10 (and definitely all considering changing our return flights)

6. DO… book an airport hotel

Ibiza flights are notorious for leaving/arriving at ungodly hours, but the good news for the grown-up clubber is that you can probably afford a night at the Premier Inn on your return. That way you can crash sooner - and for longer - and avoid struggling home from the airport at 2am (awful at any time, especially awful after a sleep-lite 24 hours in the sun).

In fact, this is probably the most important tip of them all, as tried and tested on the 00.45 return to Gatwick last Tuesday. Trust me. Your body/brain/boyfriend will thank you for it.


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