(festivals) Ginger biscuits, Dioralyte sachets and NO puking in the Portaloos: Festival expert Jo Hoare on surviving a Glastonbury hangover

Your body may be a temple for the rest of the year, but if you're a fan of festivals it's likely that you'll be worshipping at a cider-shaped font (or four) at some point in the next couple of months.

And frankly, If you don't have a hangover for most of your time at Glastonbury then you're not doing it right

Feeling like you've been run over by a tractor the morning after is all part of the festival experience. But there are ways to minimise the effects (so that you can get on with doing it all again the afternoon after) says style editor and hangover expert JO HOARE.

The magazine girl and festival guru has been partying in fields professionally for over ten years and so has mastered the art of coming out of a long, soggy weekend still smiling.

The woman could write a book about how to survive the silly season... in fact, she has! Festivals: A Survival Guide on how to cope with the tents, toilets, torrential rain and too much booze is out just in time for the big one this weekend, and Jo has kindly shared five hangover-busting tips for the occasion. 

Buddha and his Calvins: Festival expert Jo Hoare working on her hangover and making friends at Lovebox

Buddha and his Calvins: Festival expert Jo Hoare working on her hangover and making friends at Lovebox

1. Take a big empty bottle

Jo says: "When you're paying £3 for a bottle of water the size of a gnat's paddling pool you can easily spend twenty quid trying to quench cider-induced dehydration. All sites have some kind of filtered tap so try and fill it every time you go past."


2. Be organised

"I don't mean keeping a spreadsheet of drinks consumed per hour, I mean make sure your hangover essentials are somewhere safe and easy to find when you think your brain is escaping through your skull at 5am in a pigsty of a tent. A crushed pack of ibuprofen at the bottom of a sodden rucksack or a six pack of Lucozade left in the car boot aren't any good to anyone. Keep a small plastic bag in an easily reachable pocket of your rucksack with your hangover essentials: painkillers/an IV drip/whale music... whatever it takes to make things OK." 


3. Dioralyte is your friend* (*shameless celebrity namedrop alert)

"This is a shameless celebrity story, but who doesn't like one of those?! At one festival I was lying outside with two cold coke cans over my eyes trying to numb the pain of a poor, bruised brain pulsating against my skull. As I lay there quietly dying someone started to play football over my head and shouting in an Irish accent. Without removing the coke cans I shouted 'that effing ball better not come anywhere near me'. The noise stopped and he disappeared, returning with something to help. Only at this point did I remove my makeshift eye mask to see that the Irish accent and football annoyance was courtesy of Niall from One Direction (at the time at the peak of their fame) who then proffered a sachet of rehydration salts. And I don't know if it was the shame or the Dioraylte, but something definitely worked."

Jo spots the free bar at V festival in Chelmsford

Jo spots the free bar at V festival in Chelmsford

4. Pack a little something to eat

"Of course festivals are full of stalls with the perfect ratio of grease-to-carbs to soak up all that booze, but what if you're feeling so bad you can't even leave your tent? A few little nibbles are helpful here: ginger biscuits are great to ward off nausea (doctors tell pregnant women to keep them by the bed to fight morning sickness), some crisps will replace lost salts and a banana will give your blood sugar a hit."


5. If you have to vom... please DO NOT DO IT IN A PORTALOO

"Can you imagine chucking up your guts over the top of literally thousands of strangers' festival effluent? It doesn't even bear thinking about. You've got two other options: One, work out where the pay-as-you-go loos are and if you've got a bit of warning splash out on the fancy facilities as for a couple of quid it'll be way cleaner and you'll have a view of a vase of pretty pot pourri as you hug the bowl. Two, head for the great outdoors. Find a quiet corner and as a courtesy take the bottle I told you to pack above to swill away the evidence."


DETAILS

Festivals: A Survival Guide by Jo Hoare is out now, £9.98 on Amazon